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Tag: living

  • The hardest part of adulting

    There are a lot of hard things about adulting. You have to do your own laundry for one, you can no longer drop those jeans on the floor only for them to magically appear in the wardrobe a few days later, clean and ironed. The basics are always in the cupboard/fridge/freezer, so you can always grab a snack. The kitchen bin is gone when it is full. Counters are cleared every night by some sort of cleaning fairy.

    The hardest thing by far though is dinner. Specifically thinking about what you are going to have for dinner. This is multiplied by thousands if you have a family because you get to decide for everyone. this is not as simple as cooking one meal and they all eat it. Oh no, you have to base your decision around the fact that the husband doesn’t like fried food, your son won’t eat anything green, not even a hint of parsley, and your daughter basically only eats beige food. This usually results in different meals for people where you eat one of those meals, sacrificing what you would really love to have. Once you have decided you then have to shop for, prep and cook and often do the cleaning up.

    Choosing the meal is endless. It has to be done Every, Single. Day for the rest of your adult life.

    it is fucking shite.

  • A pile of steaming shit

    Today:

    I look like shit, no make–up on, hair an untidy mess, wearing clothes to clean the shit that is my office

    The weather is shit – I live in Lanzarote, home of winter sun, this year there is none. It is cold and it is wet and it is shit.

    My friend has cancer and is dying and that, my friends is really shit.

    Some days are bad days, they will be followed by good days so we just have to ride them out. Because when it rains it transforms something normally dry and dusty into a thing of beauty.

    This is the view I have this morning, and it is only like this because of that awful weather.

  • The first T of 2026

    So, I started the year on the sofa. the dog is terrified of fireworks so the husband and I stay home on New Year’s Eve, eating the glut of cheese and pate that is still in the fridge and watching the telly. We saw in midnight then went to bed.

    It saddens me a little that I no longer stay out well into the wee hours and snog strangers at midnight, perhaps vomiting over them or my shoes, sometimes both. Always was a good time girl back in the day. It is also our wedding anniversary, the husband figured there would be a band and a party in the local pub on new years eve so it was a free reception. It was 21 years ago though so the romance has slightly diminished and we don’t bother celebrating now.

    Anyway back to the new year. I love a resolution. Love a bit of a ‘new year, new me’ vibe. Love it so much in fact that I do it twice a year, the first of January and the day after my birthday for my new year. So here are this years:

    1. Spend more time with the people that matter
    2. Spend less time with the people that don’t
    3. Get fit and strong
    4. Have some new experiences
    5. Challenge myself
    6. Be a bit more glam

    In order to meet the requirements to hit those goals I shall

    1. Evaluate existing friendships in relation to how much joy I get from those friendships and spend more time with the people that spark joy by making time. I shall visit family at least quarterly as I live in Spain and they do not.
    2. Look at the list mentioned above and relegate people to monthly, quarterly or even annually (some to never) meet–ups
    3. go back to the gym. find a class that I enjoy and go regularly. to that end I am going to the gym tomorrow – it is closed today. I have also messaged a local woman on Facebook and am starting a core class next week.
    4. I have two concerts booked for this year – Yungblud and BonJovi. Have plans to go to see Skabba – a mash–up of Abba and Ska, also plan to go to see Abba Voyage at some point.
    5. this is possibly the most difficult but I want to try a solo trip as the husband has no interest and I would like to see new places. Will probably begin in the uk as I speak the language and there are lots of cities I would like to see. I also really need to improve my Spanish to an acceptable level but I am shy and hate putting myself in a position to be judged.
    6. It is so easy to slip into staying in the dog walking skanky joggers for the day, especially when I am going nowhere. I have so many clothes though so I want to start wearing them. If I wait until I have an occasion I will never get through them so I am starting now. thus today I am in the Amy Winehouse/Fred Perry shirt that I love but have only worn once

    Happy new year

  • Death starts with your first breath

    Frightening thought huh?  True though.  We are born, we live awhile then we die.

    I have a chart on my wall that is a series of 52 boxes inside squares, each box represents a week, each set of boxes a year of my life from birth until I am 85.  I figure by then I will either be dead, incapacitated or unaware of much so I fill in a box every week to show how much time I have left. Time left, not so much to exist as a human, but time left to live my life fully.

    Some say it is morbid.  I think it is motivating.  It helps me focus on not wasting time.  For example I know I have only so many books left to read or listen to, so many TV shows to binge, so many events to go to.  So, I am the DNF queen of all things.  If I start something but don’t enjoy it, I don’t finish it.  Only so many remember?  If I go to an event and I am bored I won’t stay until the bitter end.

    This blog/vlog is to accompany a book I am currently writing called ‘Suicide, death on my own terms’.  Sounds grim I know, but it isn’t.  it is funny mostly and not to be taken too seriously because my death is not imminent as far as I know.  I think you have to prepare for it so this will be a record of me getting through my ‘to do before I shuffle off this mortal coil’ list as well as a note of the things I do along the way there.

    I don’t really think it matters if you are remembered after you die because unless you are famous or, better still, infamous you won’t be remembered past a generation or two anyway.   No, what matters is how you live the life you have.  And this is how I will be living mine.

    ‘tell me what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?’ Mary Oliver, The Summer Day.

    Here is the chart, you can see how few weeks I have left compared to those already lived:

    In case you are bored and want a cheap, fun, very sweary and quick read. I have written two other books on kindle

    https://amzn.eu/d/07EMduw

    https://amzn.eu/d/6STd6Y5